I'll Be Home For Christmas....

Well, not really home. I will be in Charlotte, NC. The place that my brother and (as of three weeks ago) my parents call home. It will be the first Christmas in about 12 years that we have spent together as a family unit.

Things I can count on:
1. Wanting to drive my Mother over a cliff.
2. Enjoying time with my Dad for , what may be, his last Christmas.
3. Again, wanting to drive my mom off a STEEP cliff.
4. Carla unpacking all of my mom's 19 closets worth of clothes while she sits and points where everything should go then throw a box at me for it being wrong.
5. See 1 & 3
6. My Brother, Dad and I escaping for hours on end so we don't have to deal with said Mother
7. Meeting my brother's girlfriend who is younger than I am. My brother is 7 years older than I am....so, you do the math.
8. After approximately 30 secs of hearing my Mother yell, wanting to drive her over a cliff.

So, I may have missed a Guilty Pleasure last week. I think it would be safe to say that it definitely would have been: MY FREEDOM-thousands of miles away.

Don't get me wrong, I am so excited to be with my father. I want to spend as much time with him as I can...

But my Mom...well, let's just say there better be "NO WIRE HANGERS!" (if you don't get that then you should kick yourself).

So, at this lovely Holiday Season. I wish you all a Very Merry Christmas.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS.

See you all in about 10 days!

Guilty Pleasure Sunday 12/09/07 (on 12/12/07)

Okay, so I can easily admit to having the worst sleeping habits in the world. Done and Done. Due to this lovely trait, I have been privileged to catch the best of the best on late night television.

I Never watched this show when it was actually airing (circa 1991) but have found it now and cannot get enough of it. I literally DVR the episodes (on at 3am and 3:30am) and watch them until I am punching myself in laughter.

So, this week's GP is: The game show from Nickelodeon GUTS, 'Get The Picture'.

I wanted to find a really funny clip of the show but You Tube failed me on that end. I found a few clips after learning that the host, Micheal O'Malley is now a star from some crappy sitcom like; 'Yes Dear'. I was totally convinced he died from a speed ball overdose after he was snorting lines on the set of 'GTP' with the announcer, Henry J (yes, I have acronym'd it).

Totally and Wicked Awesome.

Fall from Grace.

Above is a trailer to a Documentary that I watched this past week.

I was laying in my bed, trying to fall asleep at a decent hour (avant 7 am). My shows had not taped on Sunday--FUCKING DVR ASSHOLES! (if anyone has them taped and can let me come see what happened to Felicity's husband PLEASE E-MAIL ME)

So, I was seeing if I could get 'Dexter' on Demand when I came across this movie.

I won't go into how it is wrong what this man preaches or how he is a living Hitler or that all of his children seem to be "fags" themselves. However, I am officially putting out a request:

To any and all of my gay friends: Would you be interested in going to one of the rallies or events they are picketing at, get liquored up (some of you may not need to) and have hard-core, animal, gay sex in front of them while they are picketing?

I know, I know...I thought of this and cannot believe how brilliant of an idea it is!
Picture them standing there watching two guys have sex right in front of them. Or two Lesbians licking each other's...faces.

If you have the chance, please watch this documentary. I think it was around where the 5 year old says; "those fags are dirty bastards" when I realized I was not getting to bed at an early time that night.

What Smells?

Three things about this photo:

a. who stuffed me into that sweater, put my hair into a stringer and then allowed me to actually step out of my house? Thanks Bella...

2. This is a still to video that is located at:
http://www.wgrztv.com/life/programming/shows/todayinwny/TodayInWNY_Article.aspx?storyid=53332


**the sound cuts out about 5 secs in but if you watch, about a min or so into it I make the best face. Thank you camera-man.

and

c. This is a permanent picture on the website.

awe.some.
Truly awesome.

Guilty Pleasure Sunday 12/2/07

I have one Guilty Pleasure for this lovely, snowy, 2nd Day of December.

Okay, I am gonna receive HUGE dung flings for this but...

Today's Guilty Pleasure is: Barbra Streisand.

I think I am secretly a young, gay man in a short, Italian girl's clothing. I can't help but listen (and LOUDLY sing along with) any tune in which I hear her Brooklyn, Jewish lungs beltin' out a vibrato at the end of a song. This may be all be due to the fact that I took a little cat nap today and woke up to 'HELLO DOLLY' on TV...on the highest volume I think my TV would go.

I mean I like her but I am not a huge fan. Its not like I have seen all of her movies, know that she removed an extra "a" from her name, her middle name is Jean, OR that I have an original B&W concert poster of her from about 30 years ago--framed and hanging in bedroom. No, not a REALLY BIG fan of her or anything. Not at all.

"AND THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED"

" The Tip Just Got Me, Odell"

"FOLKS, RIGHT NOW...WE MAY NEED EMERGENCY SURGERY IN THE STUDIO"

Guilty Pleasure Sunday 11/18/07 (on 11/19/07)

One word for this week's guilty pleasure: sleep.

That's all.

Once Again, FALLING IS FUNNY!

Listen to the very end. So funny. I could watch this over and over and over and over....

I WANT TO EAT THIS PUPPY!

This is the cutest thing ever. If you do not think so, then you have issues.

I want, want, want, want, want, want a puppy, this puppy.


Puppy Whistle - The most amazing videos are a click away

FALLING IS FUNNY.

The news anchor's laugh is probably the funniest part. Still laughing.





Thanks Lou! XOXO

Guilty Pleasure Sunday 11/11/07 (on 11/12/07)

Okay, I may be a day late on this but as the saying goes: "better late than never"--That really should also be my life motto (but I'll save that commentary for a later date). So, it is Sunday (or really late Monday morning) and it is time for the next installment of Guilty Pleasure Sunday. (refer back to GP 11/4/07) for more info).

So, today I am only putting one thing that I see as this past week's (or month or past year and year to come) GP.

It is one word. Not sure if Merriam Webster has declared that but 90% of the human race that uses the internet certainly knows it as one word.

Are you ready?

Yes, it is: Facebook.

Ok, ok, insert jokes here -->...wait, let me do it for you: Are you supposed to be under 16 to be on that? Are you really that big of nerd that you have to play on that shit all day? Carla, even though you can't make friends in real life doesn't mean you can solicit them on the internet? Have you met your future husband yet? (and to that last one)..is he of legal age?

I think that covers some of the basics.

But let's face it. When has keeping in touch with all (yes, ALL) of your friends, acquaintances, old co-workers, schoolmates, etc in one central location and not have to leave your home or even change out of your jammies ever been so easy? Social Networking has sky rocketed with these sites (amongst many others).

I mean, when was the last time you could take a picture of your brand new kitty, post it somewhere where everyone you know can see it and then get a comment from your third grade teacher on just how cute it is? All within a 20 minute period? (Note: a. that question is rhetorical because I know someone reading this just did that and 2. my third grade teacher is not on it....or so I think).

Believe me, you think you'd never do anything like it. But, I swear to you that it is completely addicting. Like Crack, I tell ya. Do it. Go make yourself a page. Find your friends. Before you know it, you'll be sitting on your computer looking through your best friend's cousin's sister wedding photos and it won't even phase you...

I guarantee it.

Now, you'll have to excuse me. I have to go see if my third grade teacher has a page.

I LOVE ME SOME REBA!

That's it. I am now a Country fan. I never thought it's happen. I always said, "no way, I hate that corny, twangy music". Well, I am now my very own hypocrite because I am sitting here, fresh from watching the CMAs (Country Music Awards) on TV and I have fucking tunes from such greats as Sugarland and Reba McEntire playing over in my head as I try to hum my way through the lines I don't know while making my cat hide under my bed.
Somehow the whole: shotmywifethenkickedmydogwhoranawaywiththemilkmaninmy67rustypickup-esque type music has crept into my head and placed a nice ear worm in me.

To prove this, today I spent 45 mins walking between the New Releases wall and Country in FYE (the new name for Media Play). Ended up with Ani Difranco's Canon ( a 2 disc set with all the oldies re-done and some new ones that I heard at her concert on sale for $13.99). However, I did have Reba's Duets in my hand all the way up into the check-out line when I realized...

"Carla, you are not buying a country CD, let alone a Duet one."

So, what does all this mean? Well, I have no idea. Guess it means I am growing up. I mean, you can only love Block Rockin' Beats and Uncensored Rap for so long before you realize you look like a complete ass singing along to KISS 98.5 while dressed in a business suit and driving 130 mph to work.

I am all for trying new things. So, who knows, maybe next I'll try some Christian Rock...

HELL NO!

Guilty Pleasure Sunday 11/4/07

So, I've decided that I will try and do a post each Sunday with some of the week's Guilty Pleasures, GP's if you will. These can be: Songs, TV Shows, Movies...Basically any noun.

So here is my list for this Sunday:

1. TURNING CLOCKS BACK --- 2am turned to 1am right before my eyes and I was like a kid on x-mas morning (minus the screaming mom and QVC boxes).

2. I LOVE NEW YORK 2 --- Show is ridiculous. Absolute shite. Like a train wreck, I just can't stop watching.

3. LMN --- I have just watched 3 Lifetime movies (one starring RICKI LAKE). I don't know who I am more mad at; myself for watching all this or the network for putting such bad actress' and actors in movies that are more addicting than CRACK.


Okay. That is it for today. I have so many more and I will save those for Sundays to come. I'd love to hear or read some of your GP's...if you are reading this, then send 'em on. I may just lavish in your GP glory too!

Back to Lifetime. I am crossing my fingers that Victoria Principle, Tori Spelling or Meridith Baxter Birney(?) are in one of the next five movies....

Santa Margherita and Brownies

So, I had total plans of just picking up brownie mix, mixing it with water and 30 mins later voila: 24 perfectly made brownies. ...nope.

Okay, let's go back about 20+ years. I am a diabetic. Yes, the type that Wiflord Brimley discusses on his info-mercials as bein' diabetus. I am the real kind. No HIV or illness that progresses into it-I am the real deal. 100% Juvenile Onset Certified. Not that that is any excuse AT ALL and I am not trying to use it as that.

But this leads me to tell you that:
I NEVER make desserts---of any kind. But I never thought these would be such an issue. I need about e'nuff for 60+people. Should be easy, right?

Yeah, well it wasn't.
isn't and in fact, they never got made.

So, now I have to wake up at like 7 am and make 60+ brownies.

Guess it doesn't help that I was watching the Sabres lose to Florida. I mean, c'mon. Assholes you live in ice and snow and you have to lose to a team that lives in the Sun and Sand. Fuck off guys. You should realize that you are being paid a gazillions dollars and you should be winning.

I am going to bed. I have had three glasses of wine and just don't feel like BettyFuckingCrocker right now. Hopefully, I am willing to do all of this work in the morning. But, we'll see.

At least I'll see my cousins tomorrow so that will be super nice. Now I am off to watching shit TV and drifting off to sleep land.

Nighty Night.

"Across the Universe"

So, tonight I went to see "Across the Universe": Directed by Julie Taymor and stars Evan Rachel Wood and Jim Burgess (with guest appearances by Bono and Joe Cocker!). Went to the Dipson on Main St. (always a treat). Four words for you: go see this movie.

Reasons why I say this:
1. If you like music, any kind of music (Beatles fans a +). Go see this movie.
2. If you like English accents. Go see this movie.
3. If you like interpretive dance. Go see this movie
4. If you find the 60's interesting. Go see this movie.

Now, this is not my usual, independent, quirky, try-to-hard-to-not-think-too-hard, indie movie that I love. It is also highly (no pun intended) filled with "psychedelic-y" type shots and situations. But the take on almost every Beatles song transformed and transposed into a different speed or key and then completely tied to the story line AND sung completely by the cast (who, by the way, all have great voices and mimic those of Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix etc.) is spine tingling good. I got the chills throughout the whole movie.

Damn, means I have to go shave my legs again....
eh, it was worth it.

Blogging Cherry Popped!

So, I have succumbed to the world of blogging. I figured, since I don't have many people to talk to and when I do talk, it is usually a mixture of hyperactive diarhea of the mouth, that this may be a constructive way to talk about my life. Eh, we'll see.

Not sure if I will keep up with it. But after some of the shit that goes through my mind, I am sure it will be a fun venture into the world of sharing my un-important and sometimes mundane day-to-day activities.

It is 2:45am and I have to be up at 7 for breakfast with a friend and then driving up to the 1000 Islands to assess the house sale "situation".

This growing up shit is not fun. I don't care what anybody says. it sucks.

Be back Monday.